Hi Loves,

this is Lovely,

herself, and today I want to talk about me being demisexual and why it can be hell on earth. I am doing a post because you liked the version of why being pansexual can be hell so much, that I thought it would be a good idea to explain the other side of myself as well.

A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a solid emotional connection with someone. It’s more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being “halfway between” sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality. In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender; however, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to someone else (whether the feelings are romantic love or deep friendship), the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire only towards the specific partner or partners.

This can be confusing for someone who doesn’t fall in that part of the sexuality spectrum, but I’m going to simplify it a bit with some examples of situations that some of us may get through that I find hilariously sad.

#1. Even if you don’t feel sexual attraction for anyone, you get horny anyway

There isn’t much more to say to this except that THIS IS HORRIBLE because…

#2. Masturbation can be difficult if you don’t feel sexually attracted to anyone

Imagination is a big deal when you pleasure yourself. And when there is nothing to fantasize about except for yourself masturbating, things can become dull and boring pretty fast. And even if you feel romantic attraction for someone and want to have their babies and build a house at the top of a mountain, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you feel sexual attraction at all. But when you finally find someone that you find hot, you will touch yourself at least three times a day to make up for all that precious lost time. Trust me.

Too much information

#3. You only want romance and cuddles; they also enjoy sex

The problem with this is that whatever choice you make to handle this situation, it can become uncomfortable for one or both of the persons involved with an incredible quick escalation. If you tell them that you don’t feel attracted to them at that moment, some of them will feel insecure, ugly, and unsexy because most people let their partners rate if they are desirable or not. But if you have sexual relationships with them to satisfy the urge, some of them will not even consider the effort you are making to try to make things work and probably think you are a whore just because you are trying to make yourself comfortable. Tip: even if you don’t feel sexual attraction for the other person, you could enjoy sex in itself. The last group is a bunch of assholes, and they don’t even deserve your effort. If the case is the first one, you could overcome the situation together by talking about it and setting boundaries together to make them understand that they aren’t the problem. Or maybe they won’t understand at all and will blame you forever for their insecurities. I think the best way is always to talk about it: nothing great can come from secrecy.

Secrecy makes Pinkie Pie sad.

#4. Sometimes you want to make sweet love to (almost) all of your most intimate friends

There can come times when you feel a solid deep emotional connection with your friends, bringing sexual attraction when there wasn’t before or won’t be after. This is a common feeling even between sexual persons, but it can become hard to handle when our sexual desire is complicated and hard to understand. Having these desires doesn’t mean that we only want a one-night stand, but neither that we suddenly wish to establish a romantic relationship. Sometimes a bit of sexual expression of love can overcome us. I usually have a lot of trouble trying to explain this, but in the end, it always works out well.

Sharing is caring!

#5. They think you reinforce normative sexuality

Even if you support the queer theory, you will find people who think that you are sexually repressed and that your “posture” on sexuality denigrates women's sexual freedom because… Ok, I don’t know why. I don’t even want to talk about this. Fuck this shit.

This post format was totally plagiarized from my brain, and all information is based on my own vagina.

XoXo, Lovely.

Hey Loves,

this is Lovely

herself,

and today I will be talking about the question: Panromantic Demisexuality: What Is It?

The panromantic demisexual orientation has two important parts: a sexual orientation, and a romantic orientation. Someone who is panromantic and demisexual has the potential to feel romantic attraction to people of any gender, but they only feel sexual attraction to people with whom they have a significant emotional bond. Panromantic demisexual people can identify as any gender. People who are panromantic demisexual have a lot in common with pansexual people, but there are some important distinctions between the two orientations.

Other Names for Panromantic Demisexual

Some people identify with the term pansexual as an umbrella term. Many people who call themselves pansexual are panromantic, or panromantic demisexual. However, other people prefer the specificity of calling themselves “panromantic demisexual.” Since romantic and sexual attraction is not necessarily correlated, being more specific helps some demisexual people avoid misunderstandings.

Meanwhile, some people who could identify as panromantic will use the term biromantic instead. This is often because more people know what “bi” means.

What Is the Difference Between Panromantic Demisexual, Pansexual, and Demisexual?

Pansexuality is the sexual attraction to people regardless of gender, while being panromantic is having the ability to feel romantic attraction regardless of gender. Finally, demisexuality is the sexual attraction only to people with whom the demisexual person has strong emotional ties. The three terms are closely related when it comes to panromantic demisexuality.

Panromantic Demisexual vs. Pansexual vs. Demisexual

Some people who identify as pansexual may actually be panromantic demisexual. Since pansexuality is the ability to be attracted to people of all genders, someone can be demisexual and pansexual. If the demisexual person has a strong emotional bond to someone, they may experience sexual attraction towards them.

When that demisexual person is panromantic, they have the ability to form strong romantic bonds regardless of gender. As a result, the sexual attraction they feel may also be unrelated to gender. In contrast, if someone is homoromantic demisexual, they are likely to form closer bonds with people of their own gender, and will likely experience attraction only to their own gender.

Myths and Misconceptions about Being Panromantic and Demisexual

A common stereotype regarding demisexual people is that they are “picky” or “frigid.” This connects a demisexual person’s willingness to engage in sexual activity to their orientation. It also implies that they are wrong for having preferences regarding the people with whom they have sex. However, demisexuality is a sexual orientation just like heterosexuality or homosexuality. The only difference is that demisexual people feel sexual attraction as an element of an already-established relationship, instead of as an independent feeling. Regardless of orientation, everyone has the right to turn down any potential sexual partner for any reason.

Panromantic demisexual people can also face the opposite stereotype: that they are more likely to be unfaithful or cheat on their partners. Some people assume that the ability to be attracted to everyone means that someone is more likely to act on that attraction. However, this is completely untrue. Studies have shown that bi- and pansexual people have the same variety of opinions about monogamy as people who are only attracted to one gender. Panromantic people are just as likely to remain monogamous as anyone else.

How Being Panromantic and Demisexual Works in Relationships

Panromantic demisexual people can benefit from regular, clear communication with their partners. Because they only feel sexual attraction to people with whom they have a bond, they may not be sexually attracted to their romantic partner at first. Open, honest communication can help both people in the relationship feel more comfortable. It can also help the demisexual person maintain their boundaries. No one, even a romantic partner, ever has the right to demand you perform sexual acts with which you are not comfortable.

Helping Your Loved Ones Understand Panromantic Demisexuality

Some people find it to be helpful or cathartic to come out, but you don’t need to come out unless you want to. If you choose to come out, you might find it easiest to explain your sexual and romantic orientations separately. You can compare your panromantic orientation to other people’s hetero- or homoromantic attraction. Panromantic attraction is a natural attraction to people regardless of gender, just as heteroromantic attraction is a natural attraction to people of a different gender.

It may help to make the point that you do not have romantic feelings for everyone you meet; it's about the potential. If you are panromantic, you will still have preferences for any potential romantic partners, just like anyone else.

You can also explain demisexuality as an aspect of your romantic orientation. You can be clear with potential partners that you may or may not develop a sexual attraction for them, and either way it is not their fault. When a demisexual person does not feel sexual attraction towards someone they don’t know, that is just as valid as a heterosexual man not feeling attracted to another man. You are not expressing a preference or “suppressing” your sexuality; you genuinely don’t experience sexual attraction to people you don’t know well.

I hope that this article helps you to understand the terms Panromantic Demisexuality in a better way.

Xoxo, Lovely

"How did you start to become an AF artist?" Answering follower questions

Hi Loves,

it's Lovely,

herself,

and right now I am chilling and relaxing from a very stressful week. It was one of the hardest and difficult weeks I had to go through for the past weeks. So today I just want to take some time to answer one of the most frequent questions I got in the past couple of months and this question is

"How did you start to become an AF artist?"

But before I start to share this story please make sure you follow me also on

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

FACEBOOK

so you do not miss any news and updates.

I want to share this story because I know that my most recent Instagram photo

is one of the most recognized photos I have ever posted, and you really love me doing the ass photos and post, and I am really happy to see your reactions about it. It makes me more than happy to read your comments and questions and I love to answer them. So let's get right into the answer to this question.

As you may know, my roots are in Spain and I moved to the Philippines a couple of years ago. So it is absolutely not that usual that people who are from countries and living in those will do AF because it is super warm here and AF especially in the Philippines is totally underrated.

But I knew for a long time already that I am a fan of AF, so there was this one day I think in 2015 when my best friend and closest love and I went to H&M., Yes I know some of you will say now omg how could you do that Love, but I wanted to get this vinyl legging they had in store during that time. This is the one we used for our Azure shooting.

We bought two of these leggings, one for me, and one for her. As I have mentioned I am an AF fashion victim for a very long time already. On our way back home I told her my story about how it all started, and I also shared that I had a huge collection of AF pants at home before I came to the Philippines. She was saying why don't you start a new collection here? That woke something inside me and I said yeah why not. So I started to look for shops online that will be delivering packages to the Philippines because as you know that is not so easy to have them delivered here. There was this one that I had to wait for more than 6 months for one single package. Our delivery services are not the best, and I am always willing to pay extra to make sure that the package will arrive.

I got some items from ASOS, Fashion Nova, The Parisian, Spanx, Commando, the rubber fashion, girls only, wear it girly, and a store that is focusing on PVC and vinyl only in Australia, but I do not remember the name, unfortunately. So I have a wide range of AF fashion items.

So this little day trip to Megamall in Manila and our visit to H&M made me decide to actually pursue my dream of having another collection of AF items.

If you want to know how my collection looks like and what I have else in my clothed let me know via DM, Twitter, and in the comments below. I'd be more than glad to answer your questions in the future.

So this little day trip to Megamall in Manila and our visit to H&M made me decide to actually pursue my dream of having another collection of AF items.