Hi Loves,
It is Lovely herself,
and by now everyone should know that I am pansexual. Being pansexual is something that is really different. A lot of people can be attracted to people, maybe some at the same time. I am different at that point. I go by energy. What does that mean? There are a couple of people in my life that have such a strong expression by using words, written communication, acting, behavior, and just smile. This is what attracts me to people.
Over the past years, I have developed outstanding skills that make me see easily if a person is real or not, and being pan helps me with it. I can feel if a person's energy and aura are real or not. I can feel it without seeing that person. I even feel it as if the person is a million kilometers away. It helps me at the moments when I am with myself most. I can feel it when I am in a certain state of energy of my own. It is such an incredible and strong feeling and connection that it is almost killing me sometimes. But I learned to love to feel that energy.
It was also the same when I entered a relationship. I go by the energy of the person first, and later on, I eventually fall in love. Love is something that always develops with me. I never experienced falling in love with someone from the first second on. I wish it was different because I can only imagine that it must be a really nice feeling. Energy comes first with me and later there will be love. Once I have reached to feel both for a person this level is more than just strong and it always stays the same, even if I wish after a certain event I would not feel that way for this person anymore. But it always stays and follows me.
This can make things very easy for example to date someone but as mentioned it also can be the hell on earth because for some certain people I wish I would not feel that way, but I have learned how to deal with it and this will be the topic of one of my next talks.
I wish that certain levels of energy would just change but that only happens if ever people want to change, but it is so rare that I can count it on my fingers.
The second aspect I want to talk about is the following.
Often, after the awkward conversation that almost always follows coming out to someone as pansexual, is a number of strange questions. Some questions are out of genuine curiosity and encouragement, while some, quite the opposite. Intrusive, irksome, repetitive, and most of all, annoying.
1. Isn't It Just A Fancy Word For Bisexual?
Being bisexual is completely different from being pansexual. Bisexuality is an attraction towards only two genders. But pansexual people are attracted to people of every gender identity.
Being pansexual refers to when you have no sexual limitations in regard to someone's biological sex or gender identity. So no, they are not the same thing. Pansexuality is not trying to be special. Pansexuality is not another term for bisexuality. They are not the same.
2. This Means You're Attracted To Anything And Everything, Right?
Pansexuality is defined as not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.
So no, pansexuality does not give you an excuse to try to compare it to - Incest, because no, they do not want to be in any type of romantic or sexual relationship with their family and or siblings, and you assuming so will only make everyone seriously question your own desires.
Pedophilia, because no, they do not, and most definitely, are not just using this as an excuse to try and be inappropriate with any minors in any type of way, and you are assuming so sheds a bad light on not only the pansexual community but the entire LGBT+ community as a whole.
3. Being Pansexual Means You Can Date More Than One Person, Right?
No, I believe what you are thinking of is polyamory. Polyamory and pansexuality are not the same things.
Polyamory is a type of relationship where you date more than one person and there are multiple forms a polyamorous relationship goes so, the most you have to know about polyamory is that it is a consensual relationship going on between more than two people.
Meanwhile, pansexuality is a type of sexual identification that means you are not limited in sexual preference with regard to someone's biological sex, what gender they identify with, or what gender they are.
4. If you haven’t dated a trans or nonbinary person, how do you even know you’re attracted to them?
Every individual, regardless of sexual identity, has their own moments of realizing whom they are attracted to, and everyone should respect that. Therefore, a person doesn't necessarily have to be with a particular gender in order to know that they are attracted to them - as one reaches puberty and sexual maturation, one’s sexuality develops along with it.
It's the same way you know you're straight, gay, or bi.
5. So you must be having sex all the time?
Being sexually attracted to all genders does not mean they are having sex with everyone they find attractive. Sexual choices are extremely personal and asking anyone this is just plain rude. You would never like being asked the same, so why bother?
A good rule of thumb is don't ask a pansexual person a question you wouldn't ask someone of any other orientation and try to be polite. It's really that simple. And you always have Google to guide you through your weird, annoying, or rude questions, so spare the pan person the pain.
Whenever I experience these kinds of questions I feel like I just want to escape the world because it is really difficult to make people understand things. I can tell it is.
Being pansexual is the best I could possibly feel, because I love that energy flow between people as mentioned, but it also makes so many things more difficult and complicated. But being pan means being me, being pan means that I was chosen to be different and to experience different things than others do, and certainly, they will say the same about me and is ok. I appreciate it as much as I can appreciate everyone in this world and at the end of the day, we all should spread love instead of hating each other. We all should share the love and our flows and because of that, I love being pan because with me it is a give.
Thanks for reading and see you in the next post, xoxo Lovely.
