SENSITIVE CONTENT IN THIS POST BASED ON A TRUE STORY
I went through the darkest moment a person can have in his or her life. I went through darkness, and I met the devil who introduced himself as a friend. He guided me to the world of death. I decided to talk about it and maybe it will help me in a way that I can handle being still alive in a better way, to become a better person, to take off memories, and relieve some thoughts. So I will take you on a journey that left a lovely person behind and that created a person with a broken heart and almost no hope. And this is my story about my experiences before that day when I wanted to kill myself.
This is
Part 8 - My Goddamn asshole parents
This book is for MATURE audiences only! There is STRONG sexual content, explicit language, violence, and lots of R-rated situations. Read with caution! This post also includes strong direct language, please refrain from reading if you have a sensitive mind.
"I was just going to say that it's a little sad that an immortal takes three seconds to cum. What's wrong big boy? Need a little Viagra in your life?" (last sentence of part 7)
"Shut the fuck up stupid idiot of the devil in my head and let me just tell you what my motherfucker of son of a bitch dad did. He never took three seconds to cum only.
These nights when he entered our room to do what he was doing every single night when I was a kid were pure horror. Do you know how it feels like to be fucked every single night? When you do not have control over your own life anymore? When there is a true devil inside of you?"
"I could do the same to you..."
"Fuck you, bitch! Who are you? Just a devil that wants me to take over or can I just release what I have to say before you take me?"
"Sure..."
"Then be quiet. You left me for several days alone and I mad at you. You should not have said what you did. This is what happened. He entered the room. Damn, I was not even awake. He beat me, smashed my head against the walls, slapped me into my face until I was bleeding, spitting blood, peed into my pants because of pains and fears. He never loved. Fuck, can you even imagine how I felt when I left home, and just run away from my parents?"
"This must have been..."
"...the last day of my life. It was the best day ever. I am not even sure how many times he just fucked me up. And my mum. My mum is a weak bitch, she is nothing but submissive. She had the choice to stop it every single night, she could have killed him like I wanted to kill him. But she decided to do nothing. Whenever there were his strong powerful hands raised again she decided to look away, to clean the puddle of pee and blood. She did not react. She did not look at us. I remember our trip to Norway when he was just sitting and riding the van we rented and you could see his madness in his eyes, that he was not able to fuck us anymore, because there were also other people with us. I will never ever forget his view looking into the mirror, looking at us with these dark black eyes."
"Journey to..."
"...pretend that we are okay. But we were not. I remember the session in rehab and therapy, now I understand why in the middle of the wood there was no one else, maybe my sister, but I was alone. Same as for the rest of my life, or whatever is leftover of it. Rehab does not fix what is broken inside of you, it wants you to forget about things, that you fill in gaps with something else, but that takes time, and there are people that will never ever recover from this, no matter how hard they are trying. I wanted to fix it when I killed the spider while imagining it to be my parents (part 1 and 2 reminders) but they were still there. It is not fair."
"Do you want me to help you?"
"Ah, what are you able to do? Kill them?"
(They really did already in fact)
"I can have a visit"
"...and leave me alone again? How dare you? I had been kidnapped by the Devil, and boy oh boy, I was not pleased. But I wasn't about to cry and beg for mercy. I would not let my captor have that satisfaction. Frankly, I didn't love anyone in my life, and nobody loved me. So honestly, I wasn't too bothered with this situation, and not totally freaked out. The only thing that pissed me off was the searing pain that etched at my leg. I had never believed my mother. I had never believed the Devil was real. I never believed the burn mark that stained my back, was anything other than a peculiar birthmark. But the Devil was real, and he wanted something from me. He was collecting on a favor. Everything was suddenly becoming clearer to me, and it was then that a small ounce of fear crawled into my mind." (part 7 review)
I felt my heart slowing down, "Hardly."
Devil shrugged, "Let's go, sparky. You and I have matters to discuss."
The second this creep lets me go, I'm gonna run.
"...and I will stick to you," he said in his mind.
To be continued...
