Coming Out is an important process that is different for everyone; some experiences are difficult to hear while others are heart-warming and inspiring. Nevertheless, coming out is never easy and we can often draw inspiration from others and their stories. Below is a small story that really inspired me a lot and I wanted to share this story with you.
So there I was, right out of a relationship of two years and two months with an incredibly sweet guy. But he was not the right one. The 18-year-old me decided I needed to explore more and I dove right into the student life. I enrolled myself in an artistic and creative student association (kind of similar to a sorority, but different) and went to lots of parties. All the artistic and creative people I met were crazy, way crazier than I was. And I loved it. The free spirit caught me, and I decided to be heterosexual was boring. Or maybe I just found out I was curious to explore more of my sexuality.
And there it was: tinder. I already knew of the existence, but when I subscribed I found out about the option to include women for the search. Totally nervous I started swiping. Interestingly – and a little disappointing – was that most of my matches were men. Maybe I looked too hetero or something. Maybe they know I’m ‘faking it’. And then I got a date, her name was Denise. She’s a cute girl from Aruba that I dated for a month. Honestly, she was not really my type and when I found out she was way more into me – the box of chocolates delivered to my work gave it away – than I was into her, it was time to tell her how I felt. I just might not be into girls, I’m sorry.
Meanwhile, I had already told my mum and the oldest younger sister that I dated a girl – on WhatsApp. I guess I was proud of it and wanted to ‘test’ their reactions. My mum responded “good for you, is it nice?” And my sister “oh that’s cool!” I guess they weren’t too serious about it and so was I. As one of the first, I also told my good friend Roxanne about me exploring my sexuality. And then she told me she might be into girls too!
Fast forward (read more about it in our love story soon) – spoiler alert – we’re together. This time, it feels more serious to come out of the closet: just dating girls and boys are different from dating-dating one girl only. As we’re already living together and invited my sister to live in our apartment as well, we had to tell her. “Ehhh… Fem… we’re….ahh… kind of together now.” And her response was: “Yeah, okay, so?” And that was that.
My mum found out a pretty awkward way. On a day we went to a theme park, with the entire family, she was determined to get me out of bed herself. Problem: I wasn’t alone in my bed and there weren’t many sleeping garments going on. My sister tried to prevent my mum from barging in, but she couldn’t help it. That day she asked me “so… are you girls just that cozy?” And well, then I had to tell her. And funny enough, she was extremely interested, she wanted to know what it was like with a woman and if I still am into guys too (she still asks me if I’m also may be interested in a polyamorous-relationship). She also praised herself for raising me this open-minded. I guess it’s a good thing.
Since my parents are divorced, I had to tell my dad another time. He heard the news when we were doing dishes together. I just told him – with weak knees I admit – “so, you know, Roxanne? She’s my girlfriend now.” I’m not sure if it’s his incapability of multi-tasking or if it just was everything he wanted to say about it; he said: “oh okay”.
The rest of my paternal family took it very well, but since my aunt is also into women I guess it is not a big deal (I mean, her story must be much more interesting than mine). As soon as they heard about Roxanne she was as much part of the family as any members.
As for my mum’s question about my sexuality: at this moment I am not a lesbian, a bisexual, or whatsoever; I’m a Roxian, totally into Rox-only at this time.
