Hi Lovelies
It's Lovely
HERSELF
ATTENTION SENSITIVE CONTENT IN THIS POST
I went through the darkest moment a person can have in his or her life. I went through darkness, and I met the devil who introduced himself as a friend. He guided me to the world of death. I decided to talk about it and maybe it will help me in a way that I can handle being still alive in a better way, to become a better person, to take off memories, and relieve some thoughts. So I will take you on a journey that left a lovely person behind and that created a person with a broken heart and almost no hope. And this is my story about my experiences before that day when I wanted to kill myself.
Chapter 1 - The evil inside
We are in 2013. 3 weeks ago before the said day.
I went to the therapy because I was having depressions. I didn't have a good childhood and I wanted to heal from this. That's why I went there. That's all that you need to know. Mrs. P. opens the door and she said welcome Lovely good to see you. I said thank you and we went up the stairs into her session room.
She asked me so how do you feel. And I said I feel heavy and my heart is filled with darkness and evil. She asked me why do you think so it's that way? I answered I'm not sure what to say but I wish we could find out today.
Okay let's try something different today she said.
I stood up and went to a bench inside of her room. She turned on nice and relaxing music and she said do you smell that scent? I said yes and I asked her what is it? It's a very special kind of wood that will help you to relax. Later on, I would eventually find out that it was the same tree to release ASS inside of your body. Anyways, let's not switch the topic. So I was laying on the bench and she said to inhale and exhale and close your eyes. She asked me to focus on my heartbeat. A sound of a gong bell was ringing in my ears. I asked her what was that? And she replied that was your mind and I asked her really, what's going to happen next? She asked me to do you see yourself and I said yes it's strange. That's how you see yourself in fact right now and you are not where you want to be. She said that I need to find a way to come together with my heart mind and soul again. So I asked her how to do it? What should I do and she said it's that spirit going somewhere? I answered yes we're going into a wood house.
From now I will just recall what I am still remembering.
So we were in that wood house and around me there was nothing. There was no light in this house and I wanted to see where I am. So I left the house to get some fire materials. I was running through the woods. Then I found a hill and at the end of the hill, there was a cliff.
There was a spirit floating over the cliff. It was an angel who wanted to tell me not to come closer. I was curious to see what is going on there and the angel said again don't come closer. I was standing on that hill and I couldn't believe what I saw nor realize that the angel wanted to protect me. The angel moved to my left side of my body where the heart is obviously. The angel said that it wants to protect me and that's better to go back to the wood house but I couldn't move anymore.
This is what my therapist said told me what happened.
The story is aligned with the lines above. She noticed that while being in trance I started to cry. I didn't realize that. I didn't feel it. She was asking me what did you see and hear? I told her that I was on a cliff and I wanted to leave but I couldn't move and she asked me why? I said I cannot tell you. So she asked me all of a sudden what's behind your back and I said it is him. It's all dark. It's evil. It's the spirits that make the devil do powerful. He is calling for me.
Lovely listen she said I will count to three to get you back. You'll feel happy and all the sadness will be gone. You wake up and you feel thirsty. But you'll remember everything because you know why you will OK?
She was counting to 3 and I woke up again. I asked her for a glass of water and I said it was so real and she said you know that it is. She gave me some exercise to do not to lose control over myself. I asked what do you think does this what we have seen mean? She said you're in a good way that still long to go but she will be there if I need her. She said call me if you need me and don't let the evil take over control.
I guess she knew what will happen next...
To be continued...
