PROLOGUE
I don't exist for a person who is not only a person. No, I don't exist for a person who literally saved my life. I don't exist for a woman who is gorgeous and beautiful. And most of all, I don't exist as a woman, I'm doing daily arts. Honestly, I wish it was different, but I have to learn to live with reality. But you know what is the best experience? That my therapy finally works. The sadness about the things I shared less. The feelings and being able to handle things better now get stronger. I don't exist for a person who I love. I wish to get a reply, a comment, or something similar to this, but I can't force people. And if I put myself into her shoes, I would not want that, either. I would lie to myself and leave the path of being true to myself. I know she interacts with others, but with me, she will never ever do that. Why? I realized I don't exist for her because I am not worth it to be present for her. Saying that is not a bad thing. It's what's helping me to get better. Being a fan can be exhausting.
Apart from the many advantages of being a fan, it can also have serious downsides. One disadvantage of being a fan is that it can become quite exhausting, eventually. You will live through many highs and lows, and some people simply cannot deal with those emotional swings. Driving to away games regularly can be quite demanding and can cost you quite a lot of time and money. While many people can practice their fandom healthily, others may develop a real obsession with their favorite team or their favorite artist. Obsessions are never healthy eventually and if you are one of those people who are really obsessed with fandom, chances are that you should slow down a bit.
Another problem with fandom is that many people simply take it too far. For instance, some people may even stalk their idol and in such a case, being a fan turns into unlawful behavior which can lead you into serious trouble. Hence, stay moderate instead of taking fandom too seriously. In extreme cases, fandom can even lead to conflicts between family members or friends. If your friends support different clubs, chances are that there will be conflicts eventually, since everyone thinks his or her club is the best. In the worst case, friendships may even cease to exist because of rivalries related to fandom. The rivalry between distinct sets of fans can become far too high and this may lead to a state where the sport will no longer be the priority. Instead, the entire goal may become to engage in conflicts with other fans, and the true meaning of being a fan will be lost.
