Hello Loves,
it is me Lovely,
herself,
and today I just wanted to give you an update on my current CBT journey.
In my previous post, I told you that I was on a trip loaded with ups and downs, but I was on a downhill trip for the past 7 days. Today was the first day that I woke up with a small feeling of having energy again. I was not sad or depressed, and I also did not make a wish that I just wish to cease to exist. It hard for me to recover from these trips that I just call downhills. Last week, on Saturday, I could feel the same evil things surrounding me again as mentioned in my season 3 series. It was so intense, it felt like someone is scratching your body, trying to make you weak and burden that you will just tell yourself that you are a burden for everyone on this planet, especially for yourself. You are not worth living, you are so small, that no one loves you nor hates you. No one will take notice of you, no one ever will love you, and most of all, everyone is tired of you. There are certain things that I am just telling myself without even knowing that I am talking to myself, but these spirits are present, and they are strong. I have no idea how to fight them. Techniques told during my CBT sessions are not working, at least I am trying to do them, but they are not yet paying off. Am I too much impatient? I don't know. All that I know is that when you are on a downhill trip for more than a week, then it is really hard to recover and get up again. But today is a good day and I want to keep this spirit alive. I wish for that. The evil spirits are there, will they ever be gone. I do not know also. All that I know is that my journey continues. Where am I going? I have no idea as well. But I am hoping for better times.
I hope that these articles will help others as well to go through the same path as we all know that there are ups and downs in life. People who are suffering from depressions and anxiety have a long way to go, but I want you to know that we can do it. I am living these moments intensively, and I know that I will be better one day because I am doing things such as CBT to be better. So if you are in the same situation I want you to know that you can do it, and go through this hard time, because WE GOT THIS!
Happy Easter Sunday 2021 <3
